p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
