Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
