And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
