omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
