so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
