i permit you to call me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
