If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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