I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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