He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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