Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
