Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i will never coherently bang her
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
