After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
