I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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