I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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