farters have to be the big spoon...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
