hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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