remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
