I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
sarcasm needs its own font
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
