maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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