Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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