You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
what day is it and did you see me today?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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