my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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