thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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