Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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