Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's shark week go big or go home
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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