we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
