jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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