Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
