The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I supernannyed him into submission
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