Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
