i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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