Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
