In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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