Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize
