Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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