there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
