i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
