You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
