im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
