it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just googled if crying burns calories
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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