He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
