the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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