Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
