your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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