Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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