I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
