Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
