grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
