Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
