Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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